HELP!!!!

We hit a MAJOR bump in our adoption today. I just got an e-mail from our agency coordinator and things are not looking good. This has been one roller coaster ride after another. I cannot post the details, but the news in the e-mail was disappointing-- we may not make a summer pick up and as you all know as a teacher, I I really needed that to happen. Also, Jeff goes this week to find out if he will need back surgery. He had it done last summer on the left side of his lower back and he may need it on the right side. Our finances are tapped out and daycare options are going to be limited since we are unsure of the timing of her coming home. Needless to say, I was very upset and disappointed!

I am asking everyone that feels led, to pray and fast with us this weekend. I heard a message on TV while we were at the beach this week and the preacher said this: "In order to get what you have never had, you must do what you have never done." Well, this weekend, I am getting into the Word of God and standing on His promises (thanks Mom) and storming Heaven's gates with a fervency I have never had before. We need extreme favor with a new judge and with our attorney. If you do not feel led to fast, please pray with us. If there was ever a time our family needed your prayers, it is now! Thank you in advance.

Don't Give Up! Keep Standing!

A friend of mine just sent this to me. She came across it in her devotional today. Her name is Holly and she and her family are in the process of adopting their daughter from El Salvador. After you read this, go check out her blog. She always has great insight on things and has been used by God to speak to me. Thanks, Holly!

It’s based on 2 Kings 4:8 and it’s entitled “Don’t Give Up!”
The Bible speaks of a “great woman” who lived in Shunem. God gave her a son when she couldn’t have one. Then suddenly in his twenties he dies. So she picks him up, puts him on a horse and carries him back to Elisha, whom God has used to announce his birth in the first place. Imagine what her neighbors must have thought as she passed by. “It’s over, bury him!” But not her. She refused to stop and get the opinions of faithless people, or discuss her situation with those who were unqualified to help. Be careful who you open up to in a crisis! Make sure they know God and that their words line up with His. The warranty hasn’t expired on the promises God gave you. This woman believed that if God started it, He could finish it. If He made it, He could fix it.
And how does her story end? Elisha stretched his body out on top of the dead boy’s body and his corpse gets warm. Now that’s good, but this lad needs more than just warmth- he needs new life. So Elisha stretches out on top of him again. This time the boy sneezes 7 times and comes to life. What’s the lesson here for you? No matter how bad things look- stay on top of the situation! Keep believing in God! Walk the floor and pray all night if you have to, but don’t give up. Keep standing on the Word. Your dream may not be fully alive yet, but it’s getting warm. Things are improving. God is moving. Your answer is on the way- don’t give up until it arrives!

I will leave you with another verse she and her husband reminded me of:

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

For all of us waiting for our babies and even for those of you that are waiting for something else to come about in your lives, this is a verse we should cling to daily. I still have no news, but I will take God at His word that He will do this for our family. Will you?

A Call to Prayer

Okay, we are being told that our attorney is supposed to go see the judge to find out why our case has not been released with the other 8 that were originally submitted to him. Ours is just sitting there. I REALLY need your prayers today. Please pray that our attorney truly does this and that we would have favor with the judge. My summer time to bond with Bella is slipping away with each day that nothing happens. I am calling on each of you to pray and believe with us that Bella would be released this week . Our adoption coordinator says that there is NO reason that we have not been released, just that the judge has not done it yet. Today marks 9 weeks since we found out we had been kicked out of PGN on March 30. Before that we were in PGN Feb. 12 and kicked out at the end of Feb. for no PA. We went back to PGN March 8. We were told going to FC for a ruling would only take 1-2 weeks. NOT!!!!!! I watched all of the other cases that were submitted to the judge get out between Monday and Wednesday last week and then when mine was set to come, he just stopped! You can imagine the torment we are experiencing right now.

Please pray with us and storm Heaven's gates this week for Bella to be released! We thank you in advance for your prayers!

Hope...again

To those of you that are wondering where my post from yesterday is, I had a really hard day yesterday and I deleted it. I had typed a piece about hope and after I posted, I went downhill. I did not want to post something that I could not believe at the time. I have spent time in prayer and reading my Bible and God renewed me. I feel like the fire has been turned up and the refiner is watching to see what I am made of. Yesterday, I waivered and today, I can say, my hope is renewed.

I still have no idea when the judge will release my case. I keep asking "why" are all the others out and not mine. I have believed and prayed just as hard. The only thing I can "hear" is that He is interested in me and how I will choose to handle the situation. Like it or not-- it is this way. I am going to stay in His word this week and whatever He has in store, I will accept. I hope to get good news, but there is no guarantee. I will place my hope in Him.

We went to visit my father-in-law in the hospital last night and they had a scripture on the door of the room next to him. It was about God being my strength. I had just told Jeff how tired I was of all of this and I did not know what to do. Well... there was my answer. God is my refuge and strength and His joy will get me through this difficult time. Please continue to pray for Bella to be released, but most of all, pray for me to keep my focus where it needs to be-- ON HIM!

Happy 10th Anniversary!!!!!

I love this man! He truly is my best friend, lover, supporter, and soul mate.

"I LOVE you more than words can express and am so happy that God chose for us to ride this ride of life together. It has been quite an adventure, thus far, and I cannot wait to see what is in store for us in the coming years. You definitely complete me!"

Happy Birthday to my Man!

I want to dedicate this post to my wonderful husband. It is his birthday today and he turned the BIG 40!! He is such a good husband and daddy. Tomorrow is our 10th anniversary and I can think of no better present than to get word that the FC judge has approved our case. Lots of others that were submitted with ours have gotten out this week. The judge has released 1-3 each day this week. I am praying that God is going to make tomorrow REALLY special for our family. Please pray this with us.

Now, back to Jeff. He has so many wonderful qualities! He is kind, generous, funny, smart, witty, and I think incredibly good looking! ;) He has been so supportive during the past 7 years. He has put up with my many mood changes during our battle with infertility and dealt with my crying fits during this adoption. He has listened to my many questions about "why" and "how" and eased my fears every time I let them try to overcome me. I honestly don't know how he lived with me on some days. But he did it and he loved me at my most unlovable times.

"Thank you, Baby! I love you more than words can express. You are the BEST! Happy Birthday!"

So thankful...

Last week I went to the dermatologist to have a mole checked out. It had turned black and my husband was a little concerned. The doctor did an in-office biopsy. The nurse called yesterday with the results. There are 3 ways that a mole biopsy can come out. 1. it is benign 2. it is in the gray area (with atypical cells) 3. it is malignant. Well, my report came back at #2-- in the gray area. That means that under the microscope there were some cells my doctor does not like and wants ALL gone. They are going to remove a 2-3 inch section that is the shape of a football in the area of the mole. I asked if this was pre-cancerous and she said "NO"-- he just wants it ALL gone. So, in 2 weeks I will go to his office and have this "simple" procedure done. The area will be numb and she assured me I would not feel any of it. I have my doubts about that!:) Of course, I googled when I got home and read that eventually these atypical cells could turn into cancer. I am SOOOO thankful that did not happen! Praise God!!


Now, let me tell you about the rest of my week. I am not at liberty to report all the details of where my case is right now. Once Bella is home, I will post the particulars and you will see the miracle of it all. I can tell you that I did receive information Wednesday night that had me in the dumps! Jake went to church with a friend of mine that night and when we went to pick him up, my friend came to the car to share something with me. Her pastor had preached a message on the blind man that was brought to Jesus. He was asked "who sinned-- him or his parents? Why has this happened to him?'' Well, let me digress to let you know that has been my NUMBER 1 question these days. The reply from Jesus spoke VOLUMES to me. He told them that the matter at hand was not whether he sinned or his parents, but that this had come about that the Father may be glorified. WOW! Suddenly, I GOT it. It is not about the why, but about what He is doing in me through the situation and the "how" He is going to get the glory. I decided right then and there that I wanted to bring Him glory no matter how bleak this process gets for us. My husband and daddy have said all along that this adoption was not just about getting our baby, but that He had a much bigger plan in it all. I have repented for my lack of trust and attitude these past months and decided that I am going to do my best to go forward and bring Him glory! After all, where we are now in the process, the only way she is coming home is because HE does it. To God be the glory!

I was also reminded this week that all throughout the Bible, God turned the hearts of kings and rulers and all in authority towards the people of God. I know that during this time, I allowed the enemy to come in and rob me of what I know to be true about my God. He is powerful and more than able to accomplish all I need done. I got so caught up in Sr. Barrios, my attorney, FC judges and what they would not do, that I forgot that I have an intimate relationship with the Creator of this universe- my Heavenly Father and my Savior-- and changing the hearts of evil men is what He did best in the Old Testament. The past couple of days, I have been reading my Bible more and praying for their hearts to be turned toward my adoption and thanking God for it-- instead of asking "Why?". I am not accepting that this is just the way things go in international adoption. I found a verse on my last visit trip and cannot find it again. I do remember that it said something about "I will bring your daughters out of captivity." Well, right now, our children are in captivity because evil men like Mr. PGN and some reviewers are holding them there with legalities. I declare today that "in the name of Jesus, they are coming out sooner, rather that later!"

I am praying for each of you daily and look forward to good things beginning to happen in the coming days. Hang in there-- they ARE coming home. Anne Pearce is just the beginning! (Congrats Lou and family-- you give us all hope and remind us that God is faithful- He does finish what He starts!)

I love you all and am appreciative for the encouragement and prayers. Keep them coming!