One way or another, with HIS help, I WILL "get it"

You know how you have ups and downs during this process? Well, I do! I was struggling tonight-- I think because it was Friday-- no possible news for 2 days. I was reading one of my favorite blogs (dawnz-- A Life Outside the Box) and she had a quote from Oswald Chambers that really spoke to me.

"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time."

I am not understanding His ways at all. I truly don't get why I am missing a summer (I am a teacher) of not being able to be with my child. I was feeling sorry for myself and getting angry when I stumbled on this quote. Now, my mom tried to talk to me tonight and I did not want to hear it. I really appreciate her and should listen more often, but there are just times in this process that I don't want to hear it and tonight was one of them! I guess God wanted me to get this concept, because He put it in my face in a way that I did not have to "hear" it- I had to read it! :)

I am amazed at my God. One thing I am learning during this process, is that His grace is AMAZING!! No matter how many times I start to falter, or fuss, or cry , or complain, He always seems to send me something to remind me that He is in control and loves me enough to show me-- even when it takes MANY times of showing, in different ways!

I may not "get" the timing of Bella coming home, but I am starting to "get" that is not what He cares about-- my getting it. He cares about my trusting Him and I must say I still have a long way to go! He cares about the character He is building in me. (And at times, I must say, I doubt if it is any at all.) I do see growth and I am finding that the times I begin to struggle, it is because I am not staying in His Word, but looking to other means for encouragement, such as what the forums are saying, what agencies are saying and what attorneys are saying. I need to stay focused on what God's Word says (thanks Mom- I am listening) and that and that alone WILL get me through this excruciating waiting period.

So, I want to leave you with this amazing quote again:

"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time."

Check out dawnz blog. She has a really good post from Thursday.
http://prayingthemhome.blogspot.com/


Oh, thanks to all of you for responding to my call for adding you to my blog roll. I am going to work on that this weekend. And I will have a new look thanks to my friend Kristin (Kristin and Greg and Madalyn that will be on my blog roll). She made me this INCREDIBLE blog header and will be giving my blog a make-over. She did Natalie's this week and hers looks great! Kristin is very talented. I am thankful that God has brought her into my life! We have become fast friends and our husbands have somethings in common. (HE! HE!, Kristen) So, be checking-- things will change over sometime this week! Also, pray that her Madalyn and Natalie's Bella get released this week, along with my Bella. It is time for our girls to come home!!!!!

Have a great weekend! I plan to!