Jeff is sick. He has severe bronchitus. The doctor said he was just a few days away from pnuemonia. He stayed home from work yesterday and will be home today. We were up late watching a movie. As I was going to bed, I decided to check our e-mail. At 1:37 a.m. on TUESDAY morning, my coordinator sent me an e-mail letting me know we got a previo! The only info. she has is that it was for something stupid. That is all we know! This Thursday would have marked 5 weeks in PGN.
I'm going to be honest. I fell apart. I cried like I have NEVER cried before. I don't understand what is going on or what God is trying to teach me. I just know that I am a kindergarten teacher-- the only one at my private school and we have to report to school next school year on August 7. I have to start school or I don't have a job. I have to have a job. I was believing that she would be home at the end of May. Then I would have all summer with her. She has been in the hogar since she was less than 24 hours old. I need to be home with her-being the one taking care of her. If we would not have gotten this previo, we should have been getting out of PGN at the end of April or the 1st week in May. This is going on how Barrios has been signing cases out. He is on the second week in Feb. But... I guess that was according to MY plans. Those of you who know me and know what I have been through in the last 6 1/2 years, are probably thinking that I should know this by now: it's not about MY plans. I am hard headed. But, I am starting to get it!!
All I can do at this point is trust that He sees the whole picture and I see a small part. I can only wait and deal with what comes my way. I will continue on and believe that although things are not looking favorably right now, He is orchestrating EVERY detail for our good. I did not know when I posted on Friday about Times of Waiting, that I would be experiencing it today. I guess it is times like this that a person finds out what he or she is made of. Well, I am not too sure what I am made of, but I will drive my stake in the ground and not be moved by the darts that the enemy throws my way. Bella IS coming home soon-- maybe this is God's way of paving the way to perform the MIGHTIEST miracle of all in this adoption!!!
I am going to try to get some much-needed sleep. I feel like I am in the twilight zone right now. I know that I will be thinking more clearly in the morning and will post again once I am. I will keep you posted as I get new information. In the meantime, please pray for me and pray that this gets resoved quickly. Thanks
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4 comments:
Oh Amanda...my heart hurts big time for you this morning. I have been praying that you would be able to spend the entire summer with sweet Bella and I believe that is still possible! I am praying it takes but a day to clear up whatever is wrong and that you are immediately back in and traveling soon after that. The Lord can do that, He can!!! This process can be so maddening but the Lord is good. He is good! He loves our babies more than we do. I will be 'holding up your arms' today as you have done for me so many times. I am praying for His peace to cover you today!
Amanda - I am SO sorry to hear you got a previo!! Why does this have to be so difficult???? We do know that God IS bigger and He does have a perfect plan and the perfect time to bring our babies home. I certainly don't understand it but I am trying to believe it not only with my head but also with my heart! I love you and I'll be praying extra hard. Did you really write your post at 3 a.m.? :)
Stand strong. "From the ends of the earth will I cry unto You, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I" Ps. 61:2
Jami
Amanda, I just love you to death. I am praying with my whole heart that if God has a new job or a new course for you to take in the career sector, He may be using this previo to reveal that to you. Or our illustrious attorney's ridiculous plan may be used by Him to get her home in time for you to have the summer with her. Either way, you, Jeff, Jake and Bella remain in our prayers until she's home. (((((((HUGS)))))))))
Amanda,
I am so sorry to hear about your previo. I am praying that the problem can be fixed quickly so that your file can be resubmitted. I am also praying for a quick out after it is resubmitted.
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